If you’re like me and have just completed a summer of Netflix binges and LinkedIn stalking, I am sure you are familiar with the phrases “I am excited to announce…,” “I’m thrilled to accept…” or even “Congratulations to [insert name] on starting a new position at [insert basic company].” Everyone is wondering about everyone — are you working? Is it an internship? How did you get the job? Are you a nepo baby? Or did you spend this past summer simply rotting on the couch?
For whatever reason, people are itching to know how to get these jobs. And who am I not to give the people what they want!
The secret lies in the resume — or, more specifically, what is included in said resume. And unlike the advice of my fellow writer who told you all to stop “pretending to be a middle schooler” on your resume, I think there is some value in including the formative middle school years on arguably the most important document in your LinkedIn career. There is an element of careful curation that comes into play when crafting a resume, and it is a skill that must be mastered.
As someone who has remade and redesigned their resume over 20 times, I have the skill of careful curation down to a tee. With this in mind, here are a couple things you should totally keep on your resume.
Fourth Grade Spelling Bee Runner-Up
One thing that every employer should know about you is that the only reason you lost to Emma T. in the fourth grade spelling bee was because her mom told her the answers from the sidelines. Sadly, your failure to spell the word “astronaut” resulted in runner-up status, but this is still a grand accomplishment that you should TOTALLY keep on your resume. Employers should know that you could have beat Emma T. and that you were sooooo close.
Sixth Grade Line Leader
Employers might wonder why you and your peers needed a line leader in sixth grade, but this will simply lead into a conversation about the necessity of your innovative leadership. Sixth grade line leader at Green Tree Middle School or wherever you went is a HUGE deal. There is no doubt in my mind that these skills will be integral to any employer — to the workplace as a whole for that matter! TOTALLY keep this on your resume.
Your 2013 Lemonade Stand Empire
At the start of 2013, the dawn of the Great Lemonade Stand Depression, all hope was lost. Lemon prices were going up, and Minute Maid and Turkey Hill were emerging with new formulas and becoming serious competitors. Needless to say, demand was down, and the prospects of a juicy profit in the Lemonade Stand Industry were slim. That was until your lemonade stand. You had lines down the block! And only 75 percent of them were family members. This empire will prove to employers that you have what it takes — the grit, the sweetness, the pulp and the sour. If it has not been made clear to you yet, you should TOTALLY keep this on your resume.
Perfect Attendance in Preschool
ABCs? Memorized. Counting? Two easy. Sharing? IS caring. You know all these things because you managed to make it to every single day of preschool. This is such an accomplishment, and you even got a plastic perfect attendance medal at the end of the school year! Employers will understand your dedication to learning and improving if you include this fact. And remind them that your perfect attendance had nothing to do with your parents not wanting to keep you at home as a child. Anyway, you should TOTALLY keep this on your resume.
No matter what resume advice you decide to take — whether it’s keeping these valuable experiences or adding “grown up” things like the internship your dad got you last year — you should TOTALLY be proud of your accomplishments regardless. Who cares about your post-grad plans!
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