Recently, the University has decided to move Greenberry’s Coffee Co. from inside Clark Hall to Wilsdorf Hall and replace it with Rookie’s. While most students are confused at this decision as a coffee shop right outside of a library seemed like a good idea, others are outraged that the University would choose to replace Greenberry’s Coffee Co. with a cookies and ice cream shop.
“Cookies in a library? A match made only at U.Va., no wonder I Ieft. Don’t look that up though,” an alleged student named “Joe Man” Tweeted.
There also have been rumors — albeit unreliable — regarding groups of students gathering outside Rookie's with signs saying “Bring back Greenberry’s to the liberry.”
To quell some of the uncertainties regarding this recent change, I have graciously created a list of all the reasons that having Rookie’s near Brown Library is more reasonable than having Greenberry’s Coffee Co. in that location. So, without further ado, here are my top four reasons to stop hating on Rookie’s and to start hating on Greenberry’s Coffee Co.
- As many of you may know, Greenberry’s Coffee Co. is notorious for selling liquids. You know, the ones that make loud noises when someone slurps them in the middle of a quiet library while you are trying to study? Yeah, those. Before, the noisy coffee drinkers ruled the library, but now — with Rookie’s right around the corner — individuals will silently be munching on their solid cookies and eating their ice cream instead of slurping their liquids. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Won’t the ice cream melt and end up becoming a liquid? Well, yes, but very few people would take ice cream soup over a brain freeze, so there is no need to worry. Also, anyone that drinks ice cream soup is bound to be shamed from the library anyway.
- Some individuals are against Rookie’s being in Clark Hall as they argue that coffee keeps them awake while studying, and therefore Greenberry’s Coffee Co. should be reinstated there. However, I have good news for them. According to ancient studies on the art of the sugar rush, enough cookies and ice cream will give you the energy you need to go about your day and get to studying. While you might have trouble focusing or find yourself continuously shaking your leg under the table and bouncing off the walls, the sugar rush will make you more attentive and excited then caffeine ever could.
- We have all read the numerous studies that caffeine is not good for you and that we all need to be drinking less of it. Personally, I could not agree more, and that is why I believe it is important to replace caffeine with something much healthier. You may be thinking, “Does this mean I am going to have to start eating broccoli?” Of course not. Just look around the corner from the Brown Library entrance, and there it is. Healthy, caffeine-free ice cream and cookies available for purchase. Just make sure not to get the coffee flavored ice cream.
- People keep thinking about what they will need before a study session but not after. While coffee may be your study buddy, people often forget that you need something to help you hold back your tears after a failed study session or test. Sure, you may have a healthy coping mechanism, but wouldn’t it be more fun to just eat your feelings at Rookie’s? Failed a class? Nothing a chocolate chip cookie can’t fix! Didn’t finish an assignment on time? No problem, have some vanilla ice cream! Group won’t cooperate for a project? Try both!
Even if I have not won you over at this point, just remember that Starbucks is always a short walk away in Newcomb Hall. Sure, you may have to wait in an egregiously long line but at the end of the day, we all know you are going to try Rookie’s at least once. Oh, and I guess it’s also important to note that Rookie’s sells coffee. If that quells your anger or whatever.
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