Holidays are tough. While finding the perfect presents for others can be difficult, receiving gifts is by far the most challenging part of the holiday season. How do you express your gratitude? Or perhaps more accurately, how do you hide your tears of disappointment? After consulting expert gift-receivers, I have compiled a survival guide to receiving gifts this holiday season. From social etiquette rules to thank-you note ideas, this manual contains everything you need to have the perfect reaction to every present you unwrap this winter.
Ask How Much It Was
Gaging the price of the gift is essential to crafting the perfect reaction. By understanding how much money someone was willing to spend on you this season, you can confidently express the appropriate level of gratitude. Upon unwrapping your present, before conveying any joy, ask, “How much did it cost?”
If they respond with a high number, it’s polite to exclaim, “Wow, that’s way too much! Thank you!” Then, after pausing for a second, add, “But at the same time, not enough … not nearly enough.”
If they refuse to tell you how much the gift cost, you have backup options — if they tried to redact the gift’s price with a Sharpie, comment, “You didn’t scratch out the price very thoroughly. Was that on purpose?” Then, try to read the price under the Sharpie.
Even if they ripped off the sticker showing the price, hope is not lost. Dumpster diving is a holiday sport, and with dedicated training, you can become a skilled athlete. In fact, dumpster diving will make its Olympic debut in the 2026 Winter Olympics.
Cry
If you are not sure how to react to a gift, a good rule of thumb is to break down in tears. Crying is an appropriate reaction to both a fantastic gift and a horrible gift. I recommend taking an acting class at your local community center to learn how to cry on command. If you cry in response to so many presents that your body runs out of water, fake tears can be purchased at Target.
Write Them a Thank-You Note
A thank-you note is a polite gesture to recognize the effort and time someone dedicated to selecting your gift. Here are some thank-you note messages tailored to generic gifts you might receive.
Gift received — a bag of coffee beans.
Appropriate thank-you note — “I hope I can finally wake up from this recurring bad dream where you give me terrible presents.”
Gift received — a personalized necklace with your name on it.
Appropriate thank-you note — “well, it’s the thought that counts. If only you had spelled it right.”
Gift received — a pair of noise-canceling headphones.
Appropriate thank-you note — “I can finally stop listening to you talk about [insert hobby here].”
Gift received — a handmade scarf they spent months knitting by the fireplace as they pondered how much you would appreciate it.
Appropriate thank-you note — “I was just thinking about how my neck has not been itchy enough lately.”
Gift received — a candle.
Appropriate thank-you note — a pile of ashes along with a note that says, “Thanks for the candle! I finally have something to burn your last gift with.”
Send Them a Thank-You Gift
The only thing better than a thank-you note is a thank-you gift to show your appreciation. Here are some examples of heartfelt thank-you gifts.
Gift received — clothes that do not fit.
Appropriate thank-you gift — a Goodwill representative sent to their doorstep to personally thank them for their generous donation.
Gift received — a book they did not read.
Appropriate thank-you gift — a thick book on how to give better gifts.
Gift received — a plant.
Appropriate thank-you gift — an urn containing its shriveled remains.
Gift received — a box of Lindt chocolates.
Appropriate thank-you gift — a tasteful box of assorted lint hand-picked from your clothes dryer.
Gift received — another pair of socks.
Appropriate thank-you gift — a crumpled sticky note that says, “F—k you too.”
May your holiday season be filled with many scented candles waiting to be smelled, gift cards waiting to be lost and loved ones waiting to be thanked in the perfect way.
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