Perfectionism is overrated. But the average college student disagrees — and it is clear why. Acknowledging failure is not easy, especially in college. In fact, many people view failure as a threat to their self-worth. As students, we must continue to normalize failure throughout our college journey in order to defeat the unrealistic, harmful expectations that come with perfectionism. In order to create a more supportive learning environment, the University must reframe failure as a learning opportunity by creating academic resources to help students manage their expectations.
While attitudes around perfectionism often feel thoroughly ingrained in society, it was not always this way. In fact, the expectation and desire to appear perfect has risen 33 percent among college students since 1989, and many theories suggest the reason for this sudden increase is linked to what students absorb on social media. Striving for perfection does not allow students to cope with failure, much less stray from systems designed to produce conformity. In fact, the rise in perfectionism has predictably caused many students to develop a fear of failure. Instead of viewing failure as an opportunity to learn and try again, students have come to view failure as defeat. Failure is crucial to the development of resilience and problem solving skills that are not necessarily taught in the classroom, and it also trains students to be vulnerable and take risks beyond the walls of a university.
The University is, in no way, exempt from these larger trends. At the University, the bar is set incredibly high from the beginning. Students are constantly bombarded by the amazing accomplishments of their peers, alumni and staff members, but the challenges they encounter are often omitted from their stories. In fact, two prominent news outlets that are affiliated with the University, UVA Today and VIRGINIA Magazine, consistently report on the successes of those in the University setting, leading many student readers to panic at the idea of not being “exceptional.” In turn, such narratives of success become entrenched in what it means to be a student. For example, in the 2022 Student Experience in the Research University, 96 percent of students reported that being academically successful contributed to their sense of belonging at the University. Now, this is not inherently a problem — after all, students should take pride in their academic successes. But tying one’s academics to their self image can lead students to view failure as detrimental, rather than essential to their academic development. In this way, narratives of success and aspirations of perfection directly impact the student experience.
Attitudes such as these translate directly into academic settings where the fixation on grades and perfection overshadows the true purpose of learning. For example, nearly 60 percent of students reported that they believed their GPA was a measure of their success in college. While there have been debates around the utility of GPA as a measurement of student success, students are often unhealthily obsessed with the three digit number rather than focusing on learning course material in school. Academic grades do not measure social, emotional or political intelligence and also fails to capture one's acquisition of leadership and creative skills. It also fails to reward individual student growth — a student has still “failed” on paper even if they made great progress in a single semester. GPA is just one example of how our current attitudes around education encourage seeking perfection over genuine learning.
In response to this epidemic of perfectionism, universities across the nation have begun implementing programs and strategies that support students when they experience failure. These supports aim to help students correct the overachieving behaviors they may have picked up in high school and illustrate the clear unsustainability of these habits. At Smith College, a program called “Failing Well” offers workshops on issues such as impostor syndrome and perfectionism and also teaches students how to cope with academic setbacks. And at Stanford, administration created the Stanford Resilience Project, a program whose whole purpose is helping students come to realize that failure is a part of the journey to success.
Harvard University, Princeton University, the University of Pennsylvania and other universities have initiated similar projects of their own with the goal of alleviating the pressure students face from attempting to achieve perfection. These programs range from workshops normalizing struggle and offering tutoring and academic support for students, to collaborating with alumni who record stories of their own failures. Each college structures its programs differently, but ultimately they all communicate that being smart and successful is not solely about being able to whip out an essay or ace every test — it is also about being able to rebound after facing disappointment.
These programs have shown that failure does not have to be a burden like we are often taught. Instead, it is a learning opportunity. While the University does offer a number of resources to help the transition to college, it does not have a specific, university-wide program that addresses how to cope with impostor syndrome, perfectionism or failure. However, there have been efforts by some within the University to change this. For example, earlier this semester, McIntire School of Commerce Assoc. Prof. Jeffrey Lovelace taught a workshop on failure, specifically on how to view failure as a form of personal development rather than a setback. While a great first step, this class lacks the wide range needed to tackle this problem head on. But, this class has precedent that enables the University to develop consistent workshops that are available to all students.
Navigating students' fear of failure is not just the responsibility of the University — students must play a role as well by reframing the narrative of failure begins with addressing our own insecurities. Whether you dropped a class, were rejected from a competitive club or simply felt like admissions messed up when sending your letter of acceptance, you are not alone in the feelings of defeat. In order to help students realize that failure is not a dead end, the University must begin normalizing the imperfections of the student body and create an environment where failure is no longer a curse.
Anaïs Naish is an opinion columnist who writes about identity and culture for The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at opinion@cavalierdaily.com.
The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Cavalier Daily. Columns represent the views of the authors alone.
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