When I was a first-year student, I felt a radiating positivity that pushed me out of my comfort zone. I would take off — quite literally at times — forging new friendships by day and launching off the Rotunda steps behind a mass of bare bodies at night. Coming to college forced me out of my shy, introverted shell. However, as I enter my fourth and final year at the University, I’m finding myself coming back to a sense of quietness and I’m walking around Grounds more slowly than before.
First year was a sprint. I was on my own for the first time, and I took advantage of every opportunity to meet my peers. I dove straight into new friendships, becoming more sociable than I had ever been in my life. Every moment felt like an adrenaline rush, especially Halloweekend. Who knew I would be racing to wish Mr. Jefferson goodnight while praying I wouldn’t slip as my feet pressed into the wet grass of the Lawn? I still hold onto that memory as tightly as I gripped the base of my towering bouffant wig that night.
Once I set off, there was no looking back. Each semester, I made new academic goals for myself. I took classes such as Transnational Feminism and Media Law that challenged me and transformed my view of the world. Meanwhile, I discovered an infinite number of student-led outlets for my creativity. I dipped a toe in styling with V Magazine, and I further entered the world of student publications by writing for The Cavalier Daily and Iris Magazine.
But near the end of my third year, my roller coaster of a college career slowed. I began to gravitate away from many activities that once excited me, and I began to question myself because of it. Why wasn’t I talking to my first-year best friend anymore? Why was I repulsed at the idea of going out on a Friday night? Why did the University seem to lose its magic?
I finally realized the answer — I have gotten comfortable here. I have become accustomed to things that once amazed me, like the beauty of autumn in Charlottesville and the sight of squirrels scurrying across the street with a little too much confidence. I used to stop and gawk at the Rotunda’s radiating dome, but now I stroll past the building on a route that is second nature to me.
I still cherish my early semesters and the stream of surprises I experienced in them, but after pushing myself to try new things for three years, I am discovering a new way to grow at the University. College is not just about stepping out of your comfort zone — it is about creating and stepping into a place for yourself. The University has become my home because of its adventures but also because of its constancy.
As I walk the same pathways on Grounds, I retrace my steps from first year and remember how many things have remained the same — that one curvy tree with a funny bump on its base or other trees that shed their leaves and replenish themselves like clockwork every season. As a student, I feel I am part of this cycle. I have gone through periods of growth and decay, wavering between degrees of comfort and discomfort. Now, I am watching pieces of myself — my experiences, memories and friendships — take root wherever I go.
My friendships have grown deeper instead of wider. Rather than crowding into a fraternity basement with strangers, I find joy in a quiet evening spent in meaningful discussion with a friend. In some of my most beautiful memories, conversations are not even necessary — when I’m in the car with my best friends, the only sound we need is the wind dancing through our hair and music by Beach House whirling behind us as we cruise along.
First year gave me the courage to feel discomfort at the University, and I still channel that courage. I have so much left to learn and so many leaps to make in my fourth year. But after embracing the unknown at the start of college, I feel a groundedness now that allows me to accept any feeling of discomfort. I know I will face unfamiliar times and make mistakes, but I also know that opportunity lingers around the corner — new friendships to make, cities to explore and films to love.
I am living out my own natural progression of life just as all students are. I am no longer rushing along this path — I am walking it and appreciating the milestones I have experienced along the way, and I remain hopeful that my path will unfold with just as much steadiness as spontaneity.
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