After a long and stressful week of school, I love to unwind with my friends by dancing Friday night away at a fraternity party. However, the promise of a carefree, fun evening quickly turns on itself when I arrive in a frat house. I find myself stepping back into spilled drinks, my sweaty hair sticking to my back like glue and my legs aching after the long walk to Rugby Road. Here are 10 things I wish I could change about the frat party experience.
1. The frightening sight of the loo
Between never having toilet paper to the doors barely closing properly on the stalls, it is always better if you can avoid using the bathroom at frat parties. If you do have to go, try not to look around, and just do your business. The second you start studying the room, you are bound to find at least a couple of health code violations. In my opinion, there should never be an empty beer can sitting in the toilet, causing it to overflow. Before college, I remember laughing when a friend recommended bringing sanitizer and toilet paper in your pocket when you go out — but now, these things accompany me to every party.
2. A sticky situation on the floor
Having a hard time moving around the dance floor? Look down, and you may find the reason why. Between spilled drinks and dirty shoes, the floor is always a pretty disgusting sight to behold. Whenever I drop an item on the floor and pick it up, it comes back with a new stain or scent. You should not expect anything that has touched the ground to be the same again — unless you bring a mop to the next party.
3. The music can be a hit or miss
I despise when frats play only electronic dance music. I find EDM hard to sing along to. Instead, I love it when some classic 2000s party music comes on, like “Promiscuous'' by Nelly Furtado or “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. While you may feel songs like these are basic and too repetitive, I prefer to be able to sing and dance to familiar lyrics on a night out. Also, can the song please not switch right when the chorus comes on? DJ, I beg of you.
4. Distance makes the legs grow tired
While many fraternities are close to one another around Mad Bowl, other fraternity houses are located farther apart and in different directions. It is already a substantial walk for most people to just get to the general vicinity of the fraternities. Therefore, when you have to continuously journey from one party to the next halfway across the neighborhood, it can be quite exhausting. During my first semester of college, I developed a persistent blister from all the walking I was doing in my frat shoes.
5. The push and pull of a crowded room
It is always a good sign when a frat party is bustling with people, but sometimes it’s bustling a little too much. There have been times when I have felt it is almost too cramped to dance with my friends. Other times, there were so many people in the room that I had to grip my friend’s hands to weave through the crowd to find some space to talk. The worst is when I have been pushed, lost my balance and fallen onto the grimy floor because the crowd all moves at once in one direction.
6. Hot air and I do care
The heat of indoor frat parties can be intense with so much body heat radiating off frat-goers in a tight space. The high temperature and humidity causes any hairstyle of mine to quickly reduce to a frizzy mess, and it also causes my makeup to melt off my face. I’m always disappointed that the hour it took for me to do my hair and makeup becomes wasted the moment I step into a frat house. Therefore, I recommend spending minimal time on your going-out look if you are going to an indoor frat party — the heat and sweat will ruin it, trust me.
7. Jacket or no jacket?
Even though spring has officially begun, Mother Nature doesn’t always grant us warm April temperatures. The chilly evenings mean that a jacket feels like a necessity for going out.
But once you step inside a frat house that feels like a toaster oven and there’s no place to put your jacket, you must resort to dancing with a jacket around your waist or walking home hugging yourself for warmth.
8. Starved, plain and simple
Between burning energy on the dancefloor and drinking whatever they’re serving at the bar, food seems like it would be an obvious addition to frat party offerings. To my dismay, however, I have never seen any snacks at a fraternity function. Instead, party-goers have to hike to the Corner to grab food after the event. I love Raising Canes or Christian’s Pizza as much as the next person, but I would prefer to be able to eat while I’m at a party, not after I leave. My wallet has suffered from many outings for late-night bites.
9. Trash, trash and more trash
While there are trash cans at fraternity parties, the masses clearly do not see or use them. The floor is littered with bottles of all types, both inside and outside of the house, and no one seems to care about cleaning up until after the event ends. I will admit — I’m also guilty of leaving something in the corner of the room and telling myself I would go back to throw it away. Needless to say, I never return to the corner of the room. All I know is that it cannot be a pretty sight for the fraternity brothers in the morning.
10. All my homies hate Doorlist
The introduction of Doorlist to the frat party scene has made parties more exclusive than they should be, in my opinion. The app allows fraternities to invite specific groups of people to parties, and without the Doorlist invite on your phone, you will not be let in. The Doorlist guest filter is frustrating when you want to go out with your friends, but some people have the invite and others don’t. Just let us all inside, Mr. Pledge!
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