With the fall semester underway, I have had time to reflect on the ways in which Grounds could become an even better place to live and learn. We are all so busy worrying about the “big” things — due dates, meetings and exams — that we often forget about the “small” things. The smallest, but arguably most important, thing? An act of kindness. Acts of kindness, for others and ourselves, spread positivity and build community. Here are ten small — but profound — ways to spread kindness.
1. Hold the door for the person behind you
This might strike you as both common sense and common courtesy, but I fear this is an art form that has been lost. If someone is walking right behind you, hold the door for them. Alternatively, if someone holds the door for you, be sure to thank them. I believe showing kindness to others begins at this most rudimentary level. And while holding the door for someone is one of the most basic forms of kindness, this one small act can really uplift someone’s day, showing a stranger that you care about them, too.
2. Wave to the drivers who let you cross the street
I think waving to drivers who let you safely make it across the street is the equivalent of thanking someone who holds the door for you. Give a wave to the car that stops for you at a crosswalk. As a driver, I know I always appreciate a small wave as it makes me feel seen and valued. When I am the one in the crosswalk and a driver waves back at me, I similarly feel seen and safe. It’s a win-win situation all around.
3. Include those around you in your pre-class conversations
If you’re engaging in a conversation with a few classmates before the start of class and you notice someone sitting nearby, include them in the conversation. The feeling of someone talking past you does not feel good — it makes you feel invisible. I love having friends to talk to before class about weekend plans or worrying about the upcoming exam because it breaks the ice and makes me look forward to going to class. Why not widen the reach of the conversation? This is a situation where the more is most definitely the merrier.
4. Make room on the sidewalk for others
There is nothing worse than seeing a pack of three or more people coming directly at you while walking to class on a sidewalk. The narrowness of the sidewalk means that something must give. Far too often, the singular person walking in the opposite direction of the group is forced to make the correction — quite literally being pushed off the sidewalk. The next time you’re walking in a group, make sure there is room for someone to pass in the other direction — sharing is caring.
5. Send a text to a friend you miss — no strings attached
I have found that both receiving and sending a text to a friend who I miss and haven’t seen in a while always brightens my day. Simply sending a text letting a person know that you’ve been thinking about them could be the small act of kindness that changes the direction of their day. You don’t even need to suggest making plans when you send the message. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is thinking about you is enough.
6. Thank your professor or TA on the way out of class
When walking out of class, show some kindness to your professor or TA with a quick “thank you” or a “have a great weekend!”. When I first started at the University, I was overly worried about “bothering” my professors — showing up to office hours with questions or just to talk seemed like a major intrusion. Nevertheless, I soon realized that professors are simply people too and that they also could use a kind word on the way out of class.
7. Don’t keep compliments to yourself — tell someone how amazing they are
This is something I am continuously working to improve. I often find myself thinking something positive about a classmate — that I love their shirt or that their comment during discussion was really interesting. However, sometimes I don’t share the compliment, especially if I don’t know the person very well. I am challenging both myself and you to exchange more compliments this semester. Life can certainly be difficult, and one small boost of positivity can truly go a long way.
8. Remember people’s names — and use them
I get it — remembering names is no easy feat. Remembering names, however, is possible when you make a conscious effort to use the names of those around you. When someone who I recently met — in a class or in a club meeting — remembers my name, I immediately feel more welcomed and included. I have been trying to flex this muscle this semester by learning the names of the classmates who sit near me. Class is also much more enjoyable when you can develop a real relationship with your fellow students.
9. Smile or nod to people you walk by
I am certainly guilty of walking around Grounds with my AirPods in and my phone in my hand as I send off text messages or check my emails. However, there is something so bleak and lonely about walking around Grounds without acknowledging those around us. Instead of ignoring the world around you while walking to class, give a small smile to someone you pass. You never know how much a smile could mean to someone.
10. Don’t forget to go easier on yourself, too
Being kind to others without first being kind to yourself is counterproductive. I know that when I feel my best, I am more likely to spread my own positivity and kindness onto others, and when I don’t feel great about myself, I tend to sulk in my cloud of negativity. Be kinder to yourself this semester, reminding yourself that you are more than capable of making it through the inevitable academic obstacles and social adjustments. Your energy affects the energy of those around you, so remember to direct good energy toward yourself too.
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