Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
Halloween is right around the Corner. Literally, the showcase known as “Halloweekend Run-A-Way” will be outside 1515. This iconic Charlottesville fashion show has been happening since the mid 1760s and has become a beloved University tradition.
For the models — anonymous figures who leave behind their student status and red solo cups for the weekend — the fear of being so last season is very in-season this year. For the audience, it is a way to take part in a historical tradition which brings the spooky past into an even spookier present.
Legend has it that this event began when a tarantula was discovered in Thomas Jefferson’s powdered wig. Jefferson was posing for a portrait by the current location of 1515 on this fateful Halloween night. As he wrestled with the spider, Jefferson popped his hip and started strutting to shift it back into place. In awe, his artist could not help but rapidly create a painting. After viewing this iconic image, men — and only men — all around the country began adorning their wigs with spiders, cementing this hallowed location as the birthplace of hauntingly hip Halloween fashion.
To answer common questions about this event, The Cavalier Daily talked to three former Halloweekend models and self-proclaimed phantom fashionistas.
Who is the judge, jury and executioner of this runway show?
Ken Daljener, Contestant Winner Fall 2023 (Costume: ‘I’m just Ken’)
“The judges are Professor Stanley Stepanic, aka ‘Professor Dracula,’ and University President Jim Ryan. Stepanic brings historical insight, enabling him to point out whether or not a Halloween costume is being reworn. Ryan, on the other hand, is there to make sure that all the costumes are great AND good.”
Bell Ahadeed, Contestant Winner Fall 2020 (Costume: The Covid Vaccine)
“The jury is composed of the Inter-Fraternity Council and Inter-Sorority Council. They score each model out of 10. The benefit of this is that frat bros have a lot of experience commenting on women’s clothing and sorority sisters are great at finding positive qualities about the most awful men on Earth.”
Heidi Glum, Disqualified Contestant Fall 2021 (Costume: Jan. 6 Rioter)
“The executioner is CavMan. He is forever masked, unknown to the masses in his blue and orange anonymity. He is the only one who has enough pizzazz and fortitude to dramatically guillotine those who dare to disrespect the sanctity of Halloween. CavMan is particularly well suited to this task given that he himself is routinely decapitated when decostuming and carries a sword. I’m excited to see how far he takes it.”
What are the best designer warehouses to scare away the competition?
KD:
“Definitely ‘Halloween Starts Here’ in Barracks. It may be a little overpriced, but luckily Jefferson set aside an endowment for Halloweekend. Anything from Sexy Cowboy to Sexy Red Riding Hood to Sexy Grandma to Sexy Blob Fish to Sexy Power Outlet, there are so many naughty options. They also go with the brisk fall weather really nicely. The shaking and shivering in the cold October air really makes posing — and twerking — look ‘au naturel.’”
BA:
“Models shouldn’t discount their own closet cauldrons for a vintage look. I am sure there is more than enough material in there to make anyone look like a lumberjack, a depressed college student or a clown. If you are really going for the clown vibe, wear that ‘Make America Great Again’ hat in the back of your closet — which you bought for ironic reasons — and pretend you are a Trump supporter. But if you don’t do it ironically, that’s no costume, that’s just a bad opinion.”
HG:
“Usually I would recommend looking at either Shein or Temu, but I don’t want to get canceled. If you are dying to have your costume fall apart mid-runway, bring that bed sheet you bought for Phi Ki Tri’s Ancient Egyptian costume party back from the dead. Or what about resurrecting that grass skirt from the Kappa Wamma Damma’s Hawaiian Party? And don’t worry about ‘cultural appropriation’ allegations, most people on the Corner don’t believe in that woke propaganda.”
Which costumes haunt you the most?
KD:
“I don’t know if it haunts me necessarily, it was really more of a fashion fiasco. My Barbie overdid her spray tan last year so she had to go as Donald Trump. I really did have to be ‘just Ken.’”
BA:
“While Former Virginia Gov. and Former State Sen. Ralph Northam tricked me with his Democrat costume for quite some time, no one could have foreseen the skeletons in his closet. The blackface he did was unacceptable. That man may have been our leader, but his actions are not ones you should follow.”
HG:
“I don’t agree with the whole Northam witch burning. How are you going to tarnish a man’s reputation for one bad costume? Everyone always seems to have a problem with anything you put on, especially when you are a “straight, white man” who doesn’t have a care in the world “beyond your next Cane’s Combo.” And then when you pretend to be anything different, oh no, then that’s an even bigger problem. Same with Trudeau. I mean it was an Arabian Nights Party. What was he supposed to dress up as? A camel? I mean either way, they would both be brown. A bunch of hypocrites, all of them. Wait, what was the question again? Oh, who cares, they can all go f-”
The rest of this interview had to be cut as Glum spent the next 15 minutes putting down others, and incorrectly citing the Constitution.
The “Halloweekend Run-A-Way” will begin promptly at the witching hour.
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