For those of us who are chronically online — myself included — the prospect of a life without a precious little app called TikTok was fearsome. Now that we’re on the other side of a fleeting hiatus from the app, I am poised to bestow newfound pieces of wisdom from my short-lived TikTok detox.
1. Insta Reels are even worse than I remembered.
I usually try my best to stay as far away from Reels as possible. In my experience, the platform is rife with middle-aged users, and it often feeds me trends that were first on TikTok — three months ago. But when TikTok became unavailable, I was forced to jump ship. Thankfully, I felt somewhat unconcerned about making the transition, as my mom sends me three Reels a day. But after being inundated with life hacks for moms in their fifties on Sunday morning, I realized that considering Reels to be a replacement would be sacrilegious.
2. Don’t even bother with YouTube Shorts.
I’m not a 10-year-old iPad kid, so I don’t watch YouTube Shorts. That doesn’t mean I don’t secretly envy the euphoria of an iPad kid gripping their tablet, traversing the world of YouTube with their grubby pointer finger. After my frustration with Reels, filling the TikTok void with YouTube Shorts admittedly crossed my mind. In the name of honesty, I did watch a few. However, the interface was so terrifyingly clunky, and just plain uncool, that it is worth reiterating — don’t bother.
3. I felt way more doom than I ever felt while doom-scrolling.
If you’re tired of hearing about the disastrous health effects of doom-scrolling, I have good news for you. While TikTok was off the grid, I felt far worse than I ever could have while exercising my TikTok addiction. Robbed of my TikTok happy place, I was entering new, unprecedented levels of despair. Getting dressed for the day lost its glamour without OOTD videos, and I couldn’t bother cleaning my apartment without Sunday Reset videos. Rest assured that these effects of offline doom were statistically significant. No need for repeat trials here.
4. Free from the so-called “brain rot,” I remained just as pitifully unproductive.
One talking point in support of a TikTok ban was that we’d regain productivity. I briefly subscribed to this idea, envisioning myself springing out of bed to take a morning walk instead of a morning scroll. But in reality, I soon became just as unproductive as I’d been on TikTok, instead binging episodes of my favorite podcast. How naive of me to assume the only thing standing between me and unrivaled productivity was the temptation of TikTok.
5. I will never take a niche fan edit for granted again.
There is nothing like the creativity of my TikTok For You Page to brighten my day. One of the first videos that appeared on my feed when TikTok returned was an edit of Greg Heffley and Rowley Jefferson from “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” set against the lyrics of Taylor Swift’s “I Wish You Would.” Needless to say, I was overwhelmed with gratitude when I could consume this content once more. Vowing to never take such a masterpiece for granted again, I emerged with a new lease on life.
6. Without TikTok access, suddenly my conversations were drying up.
How exactly do you expect me to communicate with friends and family without TikTok as a medium? Should I write out real text messages about my day, instead of sending a TikTok making a "The Real Housewives of New York City” reference? Thankfully, the TikTok ban was short-lived. If not, I may have gone completely dark on my friends and family — after all, TikTok is the glue that binds us together.
7. It is true — misery loves company.
The collective mourning and nostalgia that took place Saturday on TikTok was intense. Creators were crying as they reflected on their TikTok journeys, posting old videos as a landmark of how far they have come, and thanking the app for the good times — and the paychecks. It was emotional for many. It even made me feel nostalgic as I thought back to downloading TikTok in high school. I felt a powerful, unifying nostalgia with my fellow TikTok comrades.
8. TikTok may fade, but muscle memory is forever.
As soon as I opened my eyes on Sunday morning, I immediately opened the app to see if TikTok was truly banned. When my For You Page would not load and I came face-to-face with a white screen telling me that TikTok was temporarily unavailable, I was shocked to my core. Even though I couldn’t stop thinking about how TikTok was down, my fingers still unconsciously moved to its spot on my home screen. TikTok was addictive, even in its absence.
9. My algorithm knows me too well, and I don’t think I’m mad about it.
Sure, my data might be monitored through TikTok. In fact, it must be. My impeccably-created For You Page is a testament to the brilliance behind the algorithm. While this is conceivably a security threat, I can’t help but be blown away by the readily available content that targets my exact interests — and this stream of content was sorely missed while the app was down. I don’t know what to make of the concerns around TikTok, but I do know that my custom For You Page may be able to tell me what to think. I guess I might be part of the problem.
10. The only way out is through.
I have always found this line to be simultaneously reductive and motivational. After living through the moment TikTok went dark, I can confirm the veracity of this piece of wisdom. The only way out of a dark moment is to push through — just as I did Sunday morning, sipping my coffee without the comfort of my TikTok For You Page. If you’re lucky, you’ll only have to make it through half a day of hardship, and the peace of brain rot and doom scrolling will be restored.
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