‘Tis the season for internship applications, graduate school applications and the seemingly never-ending cover letters that accompany them.
Recently, I have found myself — more times than I care to admit — crashing out over the fact that I, first of all, have finally entered my twenties, and second of all, haven’t even figured out my next internship, never mind my post-graduation plans. The daily LinkedIn emails notifying me that I’ve appeared in 27 searches or reminding me to congratulate so-and-so serve as constant reminders that one way or another, I have got to find at least one job opening that will want to hire me in the near future. In these dark times spent doom-scrolling on Indeed, I have found solace in four words — things always work out.
Looking around at fellow students, nearly everyone seems to have plans to succeed — they have a five, 10 and 15-year plan neatly organized, with internships lining up at their feet. In comparison, I have just barely decided my minor, and while I can now smoothly describe my aspirations, I still have nearly no clue how to get myself there. I understand the myriad of resources and options — taking a gap year, applying to graduate schools and the like — but I feel an inane pressure that the decisions I make in this moment will shape my life forever.
Interestingly, I have begun picking up on signs that others are sharing these feelings of inadequacy and indecisiveness. For instance, I have seen a growing number of my peers joke about wanting to become a so-called “trophy wife,” to never have to work again. As this “trad wife” trend sweeps the nation, I’ve come to believe that it’s because we as emerging adults are never truly given the time and space to figure out what we are actually passionate about.
As a child, characteristically passionate about everything, I was always excited and invigorated by the possibilities of my future — I wanted to be a CIA agent, a neurosurgeon, a ballerina. Like many others, I’ve sadly ditched these career paths in the name of attainability, yet I have a big fear of spending my life in a greige office cubicle at an unsatisfying 9-to-5. I want to find fulfillment in what I do, to be proud of my work.
Of course, I participate in the future-oriented culture of university students — dutifully writing down every summer internship deadline — yet there remains an undeniable feeling of hollowness as I do so. How am I, someone who spends weeks, maybe months, deciding whether or not to get the cream or the beige-colored bedding, expected to lay out my next 10 years, life goals and aspirations on an 8.5x11 cover letter?
Since my first year, and even before as I went through the tedious college application process, there has been an immense pressure to gather as many internships, jobs and scholarships as possible to fill my resume to the brim. Understandably, my outlook on this process is far from positive.
Yet, a recent conversation with my father granted me some breathing room. As a professor himself, he’s encountered thousands of students, all battling the same anxiety over how they should lay out their future. Nearly tearing up, I lamented my worries — am I doing well enough in school? Which career path should I choose? Will I ever even get a job?
Amidst all of my stress, he gently told me “It’ll work out somehow.” And he was right. Over the span of my two decades on this planet, I had broken down similarly over the SATs, getting a driver’s license and choosing a college. Each time, it felt as though the world was ending, and that I would never be able to prevail. However, each time, everything worked out exactly the way it was meant to.
In “Goods and Virtues,” philosopher Michael Slote emphasizes that a good life cannot be achieved through merely sticking to a rational plan. I try to embrace this wisdom — life comes with unexpected twists and turns, and having the flexibility to accept these changes is what allows one to truly enjoy it.
This lesson may seem insignificant to most, but it’s something I like to remind myself of each day. Even though I may choose Buzzfeed's forest path right now, it could very well diverge in the future to reveal an entirely new scene, and that is perfectly okay. While preparing for tomorrow is crucial — and I am by no means suggesting you throw out your 10-year plan — I have actively decided to cut myself some slack.
While the track you’re on right now might not be “the end-all-be-all,” or align with your rigid long-term itinerary, you never know what it may teach you. Allowing yourself to explore the possibilities that the world has to give you will bring you a sense of contentment and well-rounding.
Rather than devoting my entire academic career to a singular route, I’ve made a point to further my interests in multiple areas — enrolling in philosophy, popular culture and media studies courses. While these perhaps “irrelevant” electives may not directly contribute to my graduate school application, the knowledge that I’ve gained has really helped me come into myself, an enrichment that is invaluable.
Maybe the rest of my internship applications will be accepted, and I’ll ace each interview, or maybe not. Either way, I know that there is no one path to any job or career, and while I still wallow in my anxiety about the future — and spend far too much time on LinkedIn — I try to find some peace in the “in-progress.”
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