It’s a Friday night at the University. Your friends are texting about their date function plans, couples are picturesquely strolling the Corner hand-in-hand and Instagram is flooded with soft-lit margarita dates from spring break getaways. Meanwhile, you’re sprawled out in bed, halfway through your Chipotle bowl — no obligations, no one to impress and best of all, no emotional labor exerted. Bliss, right?
Like many of my peers, I used to find myself caught up in the rush to partake in every social event and activity, thinking that it would bring me the romantic connection and the accompanying excitement I was craving. During my first semester, I was set on trying out the whole “college relationship” thing, but instead, I found myself stuck in a situationship, managing endless texts and disagreements over small things.
I realized that my beyond-draining situationship would never become what I actually wanted it to be — a real relationship — because the other person clearly wasn’t seeing things the same way. And, in the present, the “just casual” was occupying a huge part of my emotional capacity. In addition to my own turmoil, I watched my friends around Grounds juggle their own relationships — struggling to balance their time between partners and friends and relationship milestones.
This is when I began to understand that, contrary to popular belief, being single in college isn’t just an unfortunate placeholder between relationships — it's actually a life hack, an underrated opportunity to do exactly what I want, when I want and with whom I want. So I moved on from my dead-end situationship to focus on my interests and goals.
As you can probably imagine, this shift in mindset, though brilliant, was no easy feat. At a school as socially vibrant as our University, where even just a casual walk to class seems to inevitably turn into a social event, there’s an unspoken pressure to always be connected. From romantic relationships, to huge friend groups, to extracurriculars, students often feel not just the need to belong, but to define themselves through their external involvements. In college, it can feel as if being a “lone wolf” is more than just uncommon — it's unwelcome.
While having this sense of belonging can provide helpful validation, it can also become a crutch, making solitude become uncomfortable. The problem doesn’t lie in relationships themselves — instead, it’s that in constantly seeking them, we risk missing the beauty of being on our own.
College is the era to cultivate individuality and independence, and being single allows you to do so fully. A random solo trip to Grit to get that lavender latte that’s been on your mind, an impromptu study session in the Rotunda or an excursion to Humpback Rock can all happen without checking with or waiting on anyone. Being single provides you with the flexibility to be totally spontaneous.
Ever wanted to take up pottery? Learn a new language? Sign up for those random, obscure clubs or classes — just because you can. When I found myself with extra time on my hands, I joined a pottery club, just for the fun of it. I love getting to be the main character, and I found these bizarre side quests to be quite fulfilling.
Without the pressure to make decisions around another person, I’ve learned to put myself first — my goals, my interests and my ambitions. No compromises, no back-and-forth.
There’s a common misconception that being single means being lonely, and while it’s a superpower that’s hard to master, that couldn't be further from the truth. Whether you want a packed weekend full of darties, concerts and a last minute bar crawl, or you prefer to spend the entire day alone with the book you impulsively bought from Heartwood, being single means you get to socialize on your own terms and fully enjoy your own company.
Plus, taking yourself out to dinner, going to a movie solo or even traveling alone are experiences that will benefit you far beyond college. And let's be honest — there's something delightfully rebellious about enjoying a Friday night on your own terms while the rest of the world scrambles to make plans.
I’ve also found unexpected joy in befriending strangers. One of my favorite new friendships actually started with a casual chat in line at Bodo’s. It’s small moments like these that have reminded me how openness can lead to meaningful human connection.
Through my journey of navigating college while choosing singleness, I’ve found that the key to thriving while solo is to romanticize your life by truly dating yourself. I’ve come to appreciate the solitary Saturday morning Starbucks run, or turning my Friday nights into routine self-care rituals. It’s these small, personal moments that remind me how empowering it is to be in control of my own time and energy.
When you start embracing the freedom to prioritize yourself, you start enjoying it. Yes, relationships can be wonderful, but so can the utter peace of doing whatever you want. So, the next time you find yourself yearning for a special someone, instead try to embrace the moment and recognize the underrated pleasures that single life can provide.
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