First dates, especially in college, are always a gamble. Every once in a while, you’ll hit the jackpot and walk away with butterflies, but most of the time, you'll leave wondering why you even tried in the first place. I have yet to experience that elusive, sweep-you-off-your-feet kind of first date. Instead, most of my recent first date experiences at the University have been low-effort coffee shop meetups, quick lunches and the worst of all — O’Hill dinners. Fortunately, I've shifted my mindset to view these underwhelming encounters as productive — ahem, I’ve learned what NOT to do for a first date. So, what makes a first date actually good? Here's my take on the formula you should use to scheme a potentially perfect date.
1. Be strategic about the day of the week
Thursday is hands-down the best day to plan a first date. Almost every one of my first dates have been on a Thursday, and for all of the right reasons. If things go well, there is room left in the weekend to see each other again. If the match proves disastrous, you haven't wasted any prime Friday or Saturday night real estate. By Monday, your week resets all over again and you have either a few dates under your belt or a clean slate to start Monday off strong.
2. Pick the right setting
Your choice of venue sets the tone for the entire date. A coffee shop — like Grit Coffee or MarieBette Café — keeps things casual and brings less pressure. If you and your date are both foodies, a fun dining experience — such as The Alley Light — can be a great conversation topic to bond over. One destination to be sure to avoid is overly loud or intimate settings that can make conversation difficult or awkward. So, if you met at the club, consider choosing a first date somewhere more low-key, like one of my most recent favorite spots, The C&O which offers a spirited, yet relaxed atmosphere.
3. Plan your date on the same night as a friend’s
Having a friend on a date on the same night guarantees you a built-in debrief session afterwards. Whether you end up swapping cute stories or laughing over disasters, having a first-date “ally” makes the experience feel lighter and adds an extra layer of excitement. However, you may want to avoid planning your corresponding dates at the same place — that could be a tough coincidence to have to explain.
4. Save the excitement for the date itself
Texting someone excessively before your first meet-up can spoil the excitement. If you already know their life story via text, there isn’t much left to discover in real time, and you miss out on the connection that comes from discussing those details face-to-face. Keep pre-date conversations minimal and relatively surface-level — just enough to establish logistics and spark interest — and leave a little mystery to be revealed when you’re together.
5. Dress for the occasion, but stick to your go-to
When curating the perfect first-date outfit, strive to feel totally comfortable in what you’re wearing. Select an outfit that makes you feel your best while still suiting the venue — perhaps your Hokas for a sunset hike and the Sambas for pitchers on the Trin patio. But, be wary of experimenting too heavily on gameday — stick to a tenured staple that you know you’ll feel confident in rather than risking a new look that could backfire.
6. Sit side-by-side
This may seem minor, but the physical positioning of you and your date can significantly impact the vibe. Sitting adjacent to your date at the bar or table can feel less confrontational, allowing for a more relaxed atmosphere. Sitting side-by-side allows both of you to share a view — whether it’s the ambient layout of a restaurant, a beautiful sunset or nearby entertaining patrons — without the intensity of direct eye contact. This subtle positioning creates a comfortable space where you can engage more freely.
7. Keep the conversation balanced
Nobody wants to feel like they're being interviewed — or worse, ignored. Avoid this by asking light, open-ended questions and move into the bigger conversations as you both develop mutual comfort. Actively listen and share things about yourself without dominating the dialogue. If conversation slows down, have a few go-to topics — mine are favorite travel destinations or funny childhood stories — to have stored in your brain.
8. Don’t sleep on small gestures
Holding the door open, maintaining eye contact or even remembering small details your date mentioned can leave a lasting impression on them. One thoughtful moment I experienced on a first date was when my date remembered an artist I had previously mentioned loving. The next time we met, he played Frank Ocean’s discography on the drive to our destination — an incredibly sweet and non-intense way to prove that he had been listening to me.
9. Send a thank-you text
It doesn't need to be a lengthy, gushing message — but a quick thank-you text saying you had a nice time goes a long way. Regardless of whether you’re eager for an invite to a second date, an appreciative method shows maturity and gratitude for the other person’s time. Plus, their response can either open the door for a round two or bring the closure desired in order to move on.
10. Follow your gut
You know when you're vibing with someone and certainly, when you’re not. Don't talk yourself into liking someone just because they meet a few surface-level criteria from your “perfect partner” checklist. Maybe they have a great job, share similar music tastes or even surpass your ideal height requirement — but chemistry and emotional connection can’t be forced. If you leave the date feeling unsure or uneasy, you know your answer — it's probably time to move on. On the other hand, if you have a spark that lingers after the first date, it is definitely worth seeking out a second.
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