Editor’s Note: This is a humor column.
In light of allegations of plagiarism between organizations, the Honor Committee decided to forgo an investigation, instead hosting a inaugural Battle of the Organizations to settle this conflict. Sequencing as a series of field-day like games, the Battle of the Organizations was Olympic-style in structure and stakes. Participating organizations accumulated points over the course of events and the winning team earned the ultimate prize— the privilege of having exclusive Instagram story marketing rights.
Casey McSanction, third year College student and Honor Vice Chair for Investigations, explained why the Committee moved away from a typical investigation.
“We could have just done a regular case process, but we thought we would take advantage of the multisanction system and get really creative with settling this breach of the community of trust,” McSanction said.
The allegations arose from when both the University Programs Council and the Second-Year Council put on Battle of Bands events, with both claiming original credit. March 21, UPC held its Battle of the Bands in the University Amphitheater, and not even moments after the show ended an Instagram infographic announced a Class of 2027 Battle of the Bands. This iteration would be held just one week later at Ellie’s Country Club, or dubbed “The ECC” by University students who give everything an abbreviation. To make matters worse, the Third-Year Council hosted Battle of the Bands at The ECC April 12.
While the Honor Code addresses academic plagiarism, the third consecutive Battle of the Bands in under one month highlights plagiarism in student organizations, and Honor addressed it in a more violent and unconventional way.
Opening Brawl, 9 a.m. — The Lawn
The opening brawl provided an opportunity for the student organizations to release pent-up emotions, similar to the University wide pre-finals “scream.” It followed much like the annual snowball fight upon first snow, with soft gym balls provided after participants Venmoed $5. The UPC utilized the diversity of their classes to dominate this event — 26-year-old fourth-years, using their last year of COVID-19-eligibility, displayed their strength in pelting dodgeballs at burnt-out second-years.
Tralcony Fishing, 11:30 a.m. — Trinity Irish Pub
Following the opening brawl, the organizations made a natural procession down the Corner to Trinity Irish Pub upon its opening. A more stationary event, the Trin balcony — dubbed the Tralcony — fishing competition measured each organization’s tact and focus by requiring them to toss and latch a giant string onto a Bodo’s bagel on the street. The total bagels collected were tallied, with the most bagels collected winning. On a streak, the UPC utilized their niche specialties to win the Tralcony Fishing event, earning the privilege of Bodo’s at their next general body meeting.
Caroling Competition, 1 p.m. — 14th Street
Each organization took a side of 14th Street — chosen via rock paper scissors introduction. Once sides were established, each organization competed in a race to see who could get all the way down 14th Street whilst completing a full carol of the “Good Ol’ Song” at each door. Each organization had to be greeted at the door by a resident, complete the song in full and connect with the resident on LinkedIn in order to move onto the next residence. The Second-Year Council, composed heavily of Commerce and politics students, trounced the UPC in their networking expertise — winning bonus points by also Linking with essential Honor Committee members.
Tabling Tie Break Event, All Day — South Lawn
Ending with a tie, the Honor Committee ended the competition with a true test of strength — South Lawn tabling. The first organization to successfully table and get 25 signatures on a petition without using unethical persuasion tactics, such as luring students in with the promise of free food and making them stay to fill out an unbearably long Google Form, won the overall Battle. Ultimately, the Battle of the Organizations culminated in a UPC win, as students felt indebted to the organization for bestowing them with a A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie performance during their annual Springfest Concert April 11.
While the Honor Committee held the inaugural event to declare a fair winner, it may have had some counterproductive impacts. The beef between the Second-Year Council and UPC intensified when a representative of the Class of 2027 accidentally posted a screenshot from the Second-Year Council group chat onto the notorious Class of 2027 Snapchat story instead of their own private story.
“UPC can catch us outside,” the text chain began from the Second-Year Council president, “We all know the 14th Street networking event should have had a higher weight in the competition than the Tralcony fishing.”
Following the inaugural event, the Honor Committee sent out anonymous feedback forms for students to decide whether the event accurately reflected student opinion on which Battle of the Bands was truly the best. The Honor Committee has their work cut out from them to decide if this new event is worth keeping. If so, we will be watching for round two of the Battle of the Organizations — this time between the Class of 2028 and 2029 councils.