Ladies and gentlemen, the most delicate time of the year is upon us — breakup season. The Valentine’s Day propaganda has fully departed all pharmacies and grocery stores, and what’s left of the spring is a graveyard for relationships young and old. Just a few months ago, I myself dug a hole in the relationship cemetery. Then, only a day after my own breakup, my best friend’s semester-long situationship concluded. And finally, not long after this relationship’s death, my roommate called it quits on her three-year-long relationship. Perhaps, these timely splits were a result of the long-awaited promise of a “Hot Girl Summer” drifting closer or the life contemplation that comes along with major rejections.
In observing not only my own behavior but also that of my newly single friends, I quickly became intrigued by the range of reactions to suddenly embarking upon the solo life. From engaging in rushed hookups to meticulously constructing the “new you,” breakups can somehow bring out the very best — and the very worst — of us. Regardless, I’ve realized that whichever path we freshly-singles folks choose to embark upon, we are all just trying to make sense of our newfound individuality. This spring, the following personas are sure to emerge as the recently heartbroken head back to the streets — or in our case, the Corner.
The Body Builder:
The amount of Solidcore and Pūrevelo memberships I’ve observed being obtained during breakup season is so significant that it should seriously be studied. Especially with those summer abroad programs looming just around the corner, the ideal of the “revenge body” is possibly the greatest motivator to get up and be active. Though it may sound cliche, the feeling of making your ex regret what they lost and feeling good in your own skin is unbeatable — which I say knowing my roommate and I recently drained our bank accounts at Athleta to look and feel good on our body transformation journey. No regrets.
The Workaholic:
Have you ever wondered why seats are becoming increasingly scarce in Shannon or Clem? You’ve probably chalked it up to ongoing midterms, but it is also due to the onset of academic comebacks in the wake of recently fizzled romances. I mean, hey — if you cannot get validation from your partner anymore, you might as well seek to build your transcript and obtain approving comments from professors. This may be the most productive persona to adopt with all your new single free time — I swear, my mediocre statistics grade was miraculously boosted once I shifted my attention from being a girlfriend to being a renewed academic weapon.
The Explorer:
The term “explorer” is how I have opted to gently refer to those of us who want to try on some other partners. This may feel unnatural at first but don’t stress. Experimentation is normal and often good for us, despite initial discomfort. However, the sometimes inevitable expectation for the first sexual encounter after a breakup to be “the one” is where this gets challenging. Though the term isn’t pretty, the “rebound” is seldom your “forever,” but rather a means of ripping the band-aid of intimacy off. If you bind yourself to a single sexual partner, you deny yourself the ability to experience something that may tickle your fancy more. So perhaps getting back out there isn’t as bad of an idea as you might be making it out to be…
The Hobbyist:
With all this free time on your hands from not planning dates or texting your partner, finding something creative to put all this energy towards can be helpful. For me, it has been coloring books — silly, I know. Alternatively, others may opt to become their apartment’s resident Gordon Ramsey or to crochet a new beach bag to commemorate the warm weather rolling in. Whatever the hobby may be, it can provide the distraction necessary to get your mind off of the heartbreak you’re navigating.
The “Bridget Jones”:
Allowing yourself to become a professional wallower for a couple weeks post-split feels obligatory, and with the recent resurgence in the “Frazzled Englishwoman” aesthetic, the messiness of a breakup has now become chic. In the essence of the premier rom-com ingenue, Bridget Jones, you have taken up the recent responsibility of being the most graceful disaster one could imagine. Drowning your sorrows in ice cream, hosting last-minute dinner parties — i.e. pregames — with your best friends and even embracing the “granny panty” has become your M.O. No worries, though — the key is to turn your disarray from your recently flipped upside-down routine into your full embrace of fun-loving chaos.
The Influencer:
With all the new hats you have tried on in your newly-single lifestyle, the impulse to document each part of your healing journey on social media is often irresistible. This can be especially tough if you hope to spark some jealousy in your ex or catch the eye of a new beau. Personally, my Instagram story has gotten quite a bit of airtime as I have given in to the urge to flaunt my new pilates habit or a night out with friends. Perhaps these strategic social media moves are great practice for me to eventually drop the “soft launch” of someone else. Though it may not be inherently healthy, it is truly remarkable how much validation can be derived from curating the image of your ideal life for the eyes of other people. Yet, don’t shortchange having a mysterious online persona — it can be just as fulfilling.
It’s fascinating to see who you allow yourself to become while mourning the end of your relationship, and testing out new-you personas may lead you to one that fits better than you could have imagined. Perhaps that new hobby you picked up will become a lifelong passion, or perhaps prioritizing your health through exercise can make you feel far more confident about yourself than compliments from any partner.
Whatever path you choose to traverse, don’t be afraid to try something new — this is prime time to redefine or simply strengthen yourself as an individual, and these personas are the perfect means to dip your toe into the many realms that singleness has to offer!
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