Nov. 9, 2016 8 a.m.: Today will be my first day back in civilization in six years. Since the day I graduated from college, I have been living on my own in the wilderness.
All of the loud, elephantine, seemingly endless Trump supporters, I need you to shut up
It’s stupidly easy to influence kids.
I will admit it is easy to put a vampire costume together. All I needed was a slinky black dress, a cape and fake teeth.
Quit being racist. Seriously. Stop it. Freaking cut it out.
There’s so much exciting new Drake out there right now. Go forth and enjoy all of it.
My fellow Americans, the time is nearly upon us. Every four years, our nation comes together to elect our next president.
Dear Board of Visitors, How have you been? Good! How’s the wife? Good! How’s the coal plant?
One of the most surprising discoveries of this election is that we as a country are far more polarized than we ever cared to admit.
We recently learned a lot of scary stuff about Donald Trump. As a writer, that sentence has grown comfortable and familiar, like a nice sweater you can cozy up in.
Think you know the best places for recent college graduates?
If stress or anxiety seems to be taking over your life, consider purchasing a tiny cactus
This year, our eternal lord and master Teresa Sullivan delivered a Convocation speech unlike any before it... but not in a good way.
Dear classmates (and Prof. Johnson), Due to the events of yesterday afternoon at 0300 hours on the second floor of New Cabell, I find it important I write this letter. I would like to start off by saying that I did not anticipate that the bag of chips would put up such a fight or make so much noise when I tried to open it.
No matter what, you are destined to be on the Lawn.
A Centaur artificial intelligence would function like a normal computerized artificial intelligence, except that the digital mind will be that of a centaur rather than that of a human.
What things exactly? Oh you know, stuff.
I first became aware of the fact that I was both smart as well as pretty when I was six years old
You guys did not want tacos. I hope you are happy with expensive salmon and rice.
Let us demolish and rebuild Scott Stadium
