FRANK Zappa is the Messiah. "All this speculation/About my destination/Is killing me" - Acoustic Junction.
IT'S NOT IHOP, but it will be open 24 hours. Soon, thanks to the efforts of Student Council President Joe Bilby and other representatives, students will be able to go to Clemons Library whenever they might go grocery shopping at the 24-hour Harris Teeter.
KERMIT said it best: It's not easy being Green. Admittedly, he was referring to being an amphibian, not a supporter of Ralph Nader's presidential campaign.
UPON ENTERING the Aquatics and Fitness Center, one is reminded that Thomas Jefferson once said, "Give about two hours a day to exercise, for health must not be sacrificed to learning.
PEOPLE come up with great ideas all the time. But as great as these ideas are, they can only succeed if someone takes the time to work through the issues surrounding them.
RECENTLY, some have criticized the chalk messages that appear on passageways around the University.
WHEN I was younger, it seemed like everyone in my neighborhood was a member of the local country club except my family.
IN 1989 the Intramural Recreational Sports Department embarked upon a Master Plan that was to address both current and future programs and facility needs as expressed by both students, faculty and staff within the University community.
THE 2000 presidential campaign has not been a cordial one. The candidates and their supporters have spent significant time and money trading insults and accusations.
AS IN EVERY election, voters must put together a puzzle of issues, then choose the closest fit. This year's Virginia Senate race between Senator and former Governor Chuck Robb and former Governor George Allen is a particularly colorful puzzle giving voters clear choices in every issue except one: education. TV commercials shooting 30-second allegations back and forth are all over the airways; one suggests that the opponent took millions away from helpless little children, the other shoots back with a rebuttal and an even worse allegation of theft from the poor to feed the rich.
NEXT YEAR, don't buy a meal plan. If you're reading this, you'll be an upperclassmen next year. Meal plans for upperclassmen are a rip off.
MOST STUDENTS entering a new living or educational experience carry with them a certain optimism or naive.
YOUR NEW name is 73645. Your new room is Cell Block 386. And your new roommate is a convicted rapist.
FALL IS upon us. The leaves are turning and crunch as students walk briskly between classes, hands in pockets, hat on head.
LOOK - barreling down that hill faster than a speeding bullet! Able to leap tall curbs in a single bound!
MONEY talks at this school - very loudly. Where the school allocates its money speaks volumes about its priorities.
THE FRUSTRATED student finally was able to sum up his argument quite succinctly, if not eloquently: "I just hate Gore.
FORGET politics as usual. I've come to the conclusion that it wouldn't be that bad if both presidential candidates wore skin tight speedos, shaved their chests, and got in the WWF ring to battle for a place in the White House.
THERE are too many groups on Grounds that claim to represent the University but don't actually do it. I'm not talking about CIOs, even though they branch off with such specificity they might as well have the Organization for People from Djibouti Who Like to Watch Alf Re-runs.
THERE'S A NAME for a person who tailors his personality to what others expect - a tool. If we're looking for a tool for president, commander-in-chief, for the big Kahuna, the leader of the free world, look no more.
