WHEN I returned home from college for winter break after three months of being on my own last year, everyone in the world wanted to know what the University was like.
I'M FED up with the kissing on TV recently. No, I'm not talking about sexually explicit programming.
THE WOOING of the women -- that has turned out to be an appropriate title for this year's presidential race.
IT IS probably a fair assumption that you would like to attend school here at the University for free, given the option.
Medical ethics debates don't just involve abortion pills or assisted suicide. Here at the University, we are neither isolated nor immune from an important medical issue of our own: Pre-medicine has degenerated into a competition.
NUMBERS fascinate our culture. Their quantitative nature implies truth. However, as Mark Twain noted, "there are lies, damned lies and statistics." Using numbers when reporting information can be both useful and harmful.
BAND-AIDS are meant to cover up unsightly wounds, not to heal them. All the hubbub about voting to make a difference, so that politicians hear your voice, is severely misguided. There are no strong moral reasons to vote.
PARTICULARLY noteworthy in last week's editions of The Cavalier Daily was the Thursday coverage on the risks of meningitis.
HOORAY for America! Hooray for discovery! Hooray for the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa ... Oh, wait - never mind.
WE'VE ALL heard the joke. The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" This joke may be funny for students who are pre-med, in the Engineering School, or in the School of Commerce.
FLASHBACK to childhood: "Finish your dinner. Think of all the starving children in Africa who would be happy to have tofu casserole." With the images of our less-fortunate peers in mind, we obediently cleaned our plates, unless we were brats who would snarl, "Then send it to Africa!" The University may not be sending its upperclassmen to Africa to find food, but it is discouraging them from dining on-Grounds.
MOVE ASIDE gun control, take a back seat parental guidance, and enter Hollywood. Media violence is now the trendy scapegoat for the overly ambitious crime sprees of adolescents these days.
IT HAS taken me the past month to settle into my own dorm room. Only recently did I get around to doing anything that could be loosely defined as decorating, and I've just started being able to find what I need when I need it.
HERE AT the University things tend to go smoothly. With a healthy budget, a concerned administration, and dedicated students, problems are often quickly identified and addressed.
There is controversy presently over a failed bill that would have mandated the Pledge of Allegiance at Student Council meetings.
MANY OF us might remember those bumper stickers that bitter Republicans slapped on their cars following the 1992 election.
OVER THE past couple of years, the University has made an effort to provide students with social alternatives that do not involve alcohol.
COMEDIAN W.C. Fields once said, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." The University would do well to heed this advice when it comes to its direct approach to promoting alcohol-free social programs. Efforts to directly combat drinking by providing alternative activities have not been successful.
YOU KNOW who you are. You're that guy who interrupted me during my nap in psychology. Or you're that girl who rudely bumped into me while strolling down the Lawn.
AMERICANS are the best. At everything. We are the superior nation; we are the richest and the most powerful.
