So this is it ladies and gentlemen, the final column of my illustrious writing career. It all began in third grade when a piece I had written about tiger poaching was published in Florida Keys Magazine.
The other day I came across the book "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kinder- garten." Seeing this title got me thinking about what I know and where I learned it.
About three weeks into what I have recently dubbed "the greatest college month of them all," I have realized that March is, by far, the greatest college month of them all.
I spent this past weekend in a cabin up in the scenic mountains of Boone, N.C. While enjoying nature's splendor, I came to the saddening realization that I will never be the kind of guy who consistently spends weekends in the mountains and camps.
Before I launch into this week's diatribe, I must apologize to the good people at Fiji Water. In my last column I incorrectly stated that the company's product contains two to six milligrams of arsenic per liter.
Occurrences of gross stupidity are among those unique events that can either be maddeningly frustrating or absolutely hilarious, depending on your role in the event.
Last Wednesday I was sitting around my apartment, anticipating a nice, relaxing weekend. Five days later I find myself in possession of free chicken sandwiches for a year, a side-splitting headache, a sweet fanny pack, an unhealthy obsession with Emilio Estevez and some questions for the John Paul Jones Arena PA man. It all started with a call from my friends, freaking out about how the first 100 people through the door at the Chick-Fil-A grand opening get 52 free combo meal coupons.
Happy Halloween. I can't run a column on Halloween without saying a few words about everybody's favorite non-holiday.
Although it is something I'm not proud of I am just going to come out and say it: I love infomercials.
Hello there, girl wearing ridicu-lously oversized sunglasses. I have to be honest, I saw you looking my way and just couldn't help but come over and say hello.
