Real hurl
By Jake Hostetter | March 1, 2004Do you think MTV believes in euthanasia? Granddaddy never wanted to live this way... He's in ever so much pain.
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Do you think MTV believes in euthanasia? Granddaddy never wanted to live this way... He's in ever so much pain.
I love how Janet Jackson's right breast is suddenly public enemy number one. I thought I saw it yesterday in the mall and immediately dialed 911, fearful for my life.
The other day, a friend of mine announced that she was going to be the Cavalier Daily's new sex columnist.
Wow. I'm still reeling from my New Year's Eve shenanigans. What was I thinking? I mean, I've gone through my entire life feeling like a lonely pea in a pod big enough for two.
If you coaxed Tyra Banks into a little, flower embroidered basket attached to a bicycle and wrapped her in a blanket, she'd look exactly like ET.
Just shoot me in the sinus with a Prozac-laced blow dart already, because I've had enough.The Hilton sisters absolutely destroy me.
I think it was Thomas Wolfe who said, "You can't go home again ... because every time you do, you find out someone from high school is pregnant." For me, this quote is especially poignant because I went to high school with a bunch of girls with on-the-verge wombs and well-oiled ovaries.
Thank ya Gawd for the Oscars. Actors and actresses are so under-appreciated in our culture, and I often lay awake at night, muffling tears in my pillow, as I think about neglected celebrities.
Over Spring Break I tried out for a new marriage reality TV show called "Who Wants to Marry A Bachelorette I Think Is a Millionaire but Really is a Transexual Convict with an STD in America." It was such an amazing journey, and I discovered so much about myself, and the world, falala.It was a once in a lifetime experience, fa la.
I've been thinking a lot about Valentines Day and water buffalo lately ... well mostly just Valentines because Hallmark has pod-peopled the media elites into running mass "smoochy woochy" campaigns on their television channels, magazine covers, etc.
